Part 2: The Reality of Mental Health Destitution: Are You Helping or Hurting?
Maneuvering mental health challenges can be an arduous journey, fraught with complexities that extend beyond mere articulation. While the notion of seeking help may seem straightforward in theory, the reality is far more nuanced, particularly when grappling with the debilitating effects of mental exhaustion, which arguably may be more taxing than physical exhaustion. In the throes of such turmoil, the ability to clearly give voice to one's needs becomes increasingly elusive as mental fatigue permeates every facet of existence, manifesting as physical and emotional strain.
Individuals contending with mental health issues often find themselves in states of destitution, both internal and external. Internally, individuals who have mental health challenges battle against their minds, wrestling with intrusive thoughts, overwhelming emotions, and a profound sense of isolation. Externally, they encounter societal stigma, barriers to accessing appropriate care, and sometimes, a lack of understanding from friends, family, or colleagues.
Picture a mind besieged by relentless waves of despair and anxiety, where even the simplest of tasks feel insurmountable. In this state of mental exhaustion, thoughts become tangled, emotions run rampant and coherent communication feels like an insurmountable feat. The very act of forming words becomes an uphill battle as the fog of exhaustion obscures clarity and distorts perception.
Physically, the body may feel weighed down by an invisible burden, drained of energy and vitality. Every movement becomes a Herculean effort, every breath a struggle against the oppressive weight of fatigue.
Unfortunately, well-intentioned individuals needing more proper understanding or sensitivity may inadvertently worsen the situation.
Here are some examples of phrases and questions that can be harmful when interacting with someone experiencing mental health struggles, especially if they have mentioned thoughts of self-harm:
"Just snap out of it." This dismissive statement undermines the severity of the individual's experience. It suggests that their struggles are merely a matter of willpower.
"You're just seeking attention." Accusations of attention-seeking invalidate the person's genuine distress and can exacerbate feelings of shame and isolation or, worse, lead to self-harm.
"Why can't you just be happy?" This question oversimplifies the complexity of mental health conditions and places undue pressure on the individual to conform to societal expectations.
"Have you tried yoga/meditation/positive thinking?" While well-intentioned, suggesting simple remedies oversimplifies the challenges of mental illness and may trivialize the person's struggles.
"What do you have to be depressed about?" This question invalidates the legitimacy of the person's feelings and perpetuates the misconception that external factors solely cause depression.
"Others have it worse than you." This statement diminishes or invalidates the person's feelings, potentially inducing guilt and worsening their distress, leading to a downward spiral or even deterioration of their condition.
None of these are OK.
If you are unsure of what to say to someone struggling with their mental health, then advise them to seek the care of a medical professional. It's crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and thoughtfulness. Consider contacting them gently, expressing your concern, and offering support. Be cautious when considering interventions such as welfare checks, involuntary hospitalization, or confrontation, as these actions can be distressing and may not always be the most appropriate course of action. Prioritize open communication, empathy, and understanding, and again, suggest seeking guidance from mental health professionals if needed.
If you're struggling, it's OK to share your feelings. Please don't worry about second-guessing yourself. To start, you could try framing your feelings by saying (these are suggestions and not meant to be used literally):
I'm struggling right now and need to talk to someone — can we chat?
When you get a chance, can you contact me? I feel really alone and could use some support.
I don't want to die, but I don't know how to live. Talking with you may help me feel safe. Are you free to speak?
I feel stuck but not sure how to move forward. Can we meet up as I don't want to be alone right now?
This is really hard for me to say, but I'm having painful thoughts, and it might help to talk. Are you free?
I don't trust myself to be alone right now, and I don't really feel like talking, but can you stay on the phone with me?
Self-harming thoughts and behavior are familiar with some mental illnesses. If you think you may hurt yourself or have attempted to hurt yourself, try and get help right away utilizing the below:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call your mental health specialist.
Contact a non-living hotline.
In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential.
Seek help from your primary care provider.
Reach out to a close friend or loved one.
Refer to your Urgent or Emergency Care Plan.
Contact a minister, spiritual leader, or someone in your faith community.
If utilizing mental health support services at your workplace makes you uneasy, if you're presently unemployed without access to such programs, or if you're uncertain about where to begin, the following list outlines 12 Mental Health Resources (U.S.) that could help in various capacities:
Crisis Text Line
https://www.crisistextline.org/
Veterans Crisis Line
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
LGBT National Hotline
Hey Sam
Teen Line
National Parent and Youth Helpline
https://nationalparentyouthhelpline.org/
National Grad Crisis Line
Centerstone Military Services
Physician Support Line
https://www.physiciansupportline.com/
Su Familia
https://www.healthyamericas.org/
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Boys Town National Hotline
https://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/home.aspx
Navigating this topic requires sensitivity and respect. Your perspective is valued if you have insights or experiences to share. Please feel free to contribute, and if you have any questions or need guidance, don't hesitate to reach out. Remember, this space is intended for constructive dialogue, and any unkind comments will be addressed accordingly.
